Mortally Wounded: A Soldier's Tale

Steven Dupere 1963 (MA)

Imagine the glory of a love so mighty as
to inspire the hopeless to suffer the agony
of one more breath.

Mortally Wounded; A Soldier's Tale

He is bloody, fading and shattered,
Disabled, alone by himself --
His body's been brutally battered,
As the warrior gives up on himself.

He prays to die as a plea for new birth,
And cries, "God, rid me of this dread!"--
He calls forth to heaven to free him of earth,
As he pleads, “I am better off dead."

Yet one thought has kept him about his life
Of the loving woman he adores.
The memories he cites are that of his wife,
For he knows living is a battle of wars.

He pleads his courage and defiantly crows,
"Your heart is every breath that I take.
"Your love has seen me beyond deaths throes,
For that my life is no longer at stake."

The wind carries his voice back to her midst,
As she summons him back from his pain.
Their spirits converge an unbreakable tryst,
As she lifts him beyond his refrain.

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Written on January 01, 2024

Submitted by Symmetry60 on January 01, 2024

Modified by Symmetry60 on March 21, 2024

: 1:02 min read
: 131 Views

Quick analysis:

Scheme	XAB A CDCD EBEB FGFG HXHB XIXI
Closest metre	Iambic pentameter
Characters	994
Words	207
Stanzas	7
Stanza Lengths	3, 1, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4

Full analysis for Mortally Wounded: A Soldier's Tale »

Steven Dupere

With a book of poetry to boast, Waltz of Semantic Tongues, Steven has been challenging nervous canvases for more time than time can shake an eon at. This is a shard of that fallout. more…

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8 Comments

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adam.gutteridge
A real gem is this one Steve. This poem really showcases your talent as a writer.
Fabulously written with a seamless rhyme scheme (which is really hard to pull off!). What a scene you set with this poor soldier on the brink of death; only to be lifted and saved by the love he and his wife share.
This was bookmarked in my top three and I couldn’t honestly separate them.
Congratulations on your win Steve! more »
LikeReply 12 months ago
Wildflower888
My new favorite poem of yours, my friend!
LikeReply2 months ago
- Symmetry60
  You're like some sort of enigma. I'd left you a message in mail and a comment on your poem only to hear nothing. I don't know if you're here or not anymore, then poof, there you are. LoL
  
  I'm glad you like the poem, buddy. Thank you for popping in. more »
  LikeReply2 months ago
Kaytee
Congratulations! Well deserved! "Their spirits converge an unbreakable tryst" is the most amazing line. Wow!
LikeReply 12 months ago
- Symmetry60
  Thank you, dear. A bit let down as I hoped to do better which I will next month for sure. Eyes peeled. Already got the winners entered.
  LikeReply2 months ago
- Kaytee
  can’t wait to read the new poems!
  LikeReply2 months ago
lovingempath
This is my favorite poem of yours so far Steve. Congratulations.
LikeReply 12 months ago
- Symmetry60
  Three votes not quite enough. Got one on my other poem about mom as well. I really thought this one could hit top 3, but apparently blah.
  LikeReply 12 months ago
susan.brumel
Beautiful poem, eloquently written.
Pulled at my heartstrings.
LikeReply 12 months ago
- Symmetry60
  Thank you, Susan. Your kindness has been duly noted. :-)
  LikeReply2 months ago
Vixility
There are a few things I like about this poem.

The first is the poem’s presentation: an italicized Preface which sets the mood of the poem by challenging the reader—right off the bat—to imagine a given situation. The Preface is then followed by the poem’s title (expressed in attention-grabbing bold letters) which preps the reader for what’s coming.

The second is the poem’s story of struggle in the face of death—even while in the very throes of it!—and love’s covalent power to break the despair of hopelessness by eliciting a sense of resiliency and a will to live in the soldier who is dying.

The third: the poem’s topic feels genuine and well thought out. I find it remarkable how beautifully and fully articulated the story was in a mere five quatrains. The italicized monologue of the dying soldier visibly and mentally held my complete attention to the page and the unfolding of the tale.

I hope this work receives many accolades. more »
LikeReply 22 months ago
- Symmetry60
  I borrowed a couple concepts from a dude I know. Seems to have paid a dividend or three. I wish thinking it would rank higher, but then thinking places about 43rd on my list of strong suits. Thank you for the kind words and vote. It means a lot. more »
  LikeReply 12 months ago
- lovingempath
  Yes! What John said :).
  LikeReply 12 months ago
sampson.ws
From the beginning to the end, this passage eloquently describes with brevity, a existentiel struggle within the realm of what was and what is priority in this individual's world. The author provides a unique and abstract perspective of man vs. ideology, the subject character in this poem is described to be transcending beyond a hollow dimension, akin to the physics of a black hole; which draws nearly every ounce of will from the soul. Yet when driven to tge edge of the pyre, the soul masters energy to persevere even in the most dire of circumstances, channeling his selfless love for another human being. more »
LikeReply 12 months ago
- Symmetry60
  Thank you for the kind words and for taking time to read my work. I appreciate it.
  LikeReply 12 months ago
Jacobbenjaminray
A powerful
LikeReply 12 months ago
- Symmetry60
  Thank you for the vote. It is appreciated.
  LikeReply2 months ago

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"Mortally Wounded: A Soldier's Tale" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/180497/mortally-wounded:-a-soldier's-tale>.

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