Mortally Wounded: A Soldier's Tale



Imagine the glory of a love so mighty as
to inspire the hopeless to suffer the agony
of one more breath.

 
Mortally Wounded; A Soldier's Tale

He is bloody, fading and shattered,
Disabled, alone by himself --
His body's been brutally battered,
As the warrior gives up on himself.

He prays to die as a plea for new birth,
And cries, "God, rid me of this dread!"--
Calls forth to heaven to free him of earth,
As he pleads, “I am better off dead."

Yet one thought has kept him about his life
Of the loving woman he adores.
The memories he cites are that of his wife,
For he knows living is a battle of wars.

He pleads his courage and defiantly crows,
"Your heart is every breath that I take.
"Your love has seen me beyond deaths throes,
For that my life is no longer at stake."


The wind carries his voice back to her midst,
As she summons him back from his pain.
Their spirits converge an unbreakable tryst,
As she lifts him beyond his refrain.

About this poem

A fictional story about a soldier on the brink of death brought back to life by the love of a woman he lives for.

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Written on January 01, 2024

Submitted by Symmetry60 on January 01, 2024

Modified by Symmetry60 on May 15, 2024

1:02 min read
166

Quick analysis:

Scheme XAB A CDCD EBEB FGFG HXHB XIXI
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 991
Words 206
Stanzas 7
Stanza Lengths 3, 1, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4

Steven Dupere

With a book of poetry to boast, Waltz of Semantic Tongues, Steven has been challenging nervous canvases for more time than time can shake an eon at. This is a shard of that fallout. more…

All Steven Dupere poems | Steven Dupere Books

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Discuss the poem Mortally Wounded: A Soldier's Tale with the community...

9 Comments
  • LatinX
    You are an amazing poet and story teller. I too have poems that tell stories. Check out Son of the Father. When you can. Once again Bravo! Wonderful piece of art.
    LikeReply1 month ago
    • Symmetry60
      At the risk of repeating myself - I have to say that this style is not my strong suit or preferred style as I've stated on other posts. I fell back into this style as a result of a lack of votes procured on my more preferred style which is free verse. My more complex poetry had garnered exactly zero votes across multiple contests. I began to notice that most winning poems were in this rhythmic style, so I made the necessary adjustments and have done much better as a result. To date, and I say this humbly, I have three 3rd-place wins, as well as 5 runner-up showings. I've deleted one 3rd place poem and a couple runner-up poems because I loathed them. LoL! I very much appreciate you taking time to wade through my scribblings. You're too kind. :-) 
      LikeReply 11 month ago
    • LatinX
      I am giving credit where credit is due. That is not based on kindness. Total honesty.
      LikeReply 11 month ago
    • Symmetry60
      Oh, I believe you. I'm just being honest from my own personal perspective. Everyone likes what they like and we are all entitled to it. I judge no one for their own tastes. I am, if anything, my own worst critic. I'm glad you enjoyed it. That's all that matters to me. 
      LikeReply1 month ago
  • adam.gutteridge
    A real gem is this one Steve. This poem really showcases your talent as a writer.
    Fabulously written with a seamless rhyme scheme (which is really hard to pull off!). What a scene you set with this poor soldier on the brink of death; only to be lifted and saved by the love he and his wife share.
    This was bookmarked in my top three and I couldn’t honestly separate them.
    Congratulations on your win Steve!
     
    LikeReply 14 months ago
  • Wildflower888
    My new favorite poem of yours, my friend!
    LikeReply4 months ago
    • Symmetry60
      You're like some sort of enigma. I'd left you a message in mail and a comment on your poem only to hear nothing. I don't know if you're here or not anymore, then poof, there you are. LoL

      I'm glad you like the poem, buddy. Thank you for popping in.
       
      LikeReply4 months ago
  • Kaytee
    Congratulations! Well deserved! "Their spirits converge an unbreakable tryst" is the most amazing line. Wow!
    LikeReply 14 months ago
    • Symmetry60
      Thank you, dear. A bit let down as I hoped to do better which I will next month for sure. Eyes peeled. Already got the winners entered.
      LikeReply4 months ago
    • Kaytee
      can’t wait to read the new poems!
      LikeReply4 months ago
  • lovingempath
    This is my favorite poem of yours so far Steve. Congratulations.
    LikeReply 14 months ago
    • Symmetry60
      Three votes not quite enough. Got one on my other poem about mom as well. I really thought this one could hit top 3, but apparently blah.
      LikeReply 14 months ago
  • susan.brumel
    Beautiful poem, eloquently written.
    Pulled at my heartstrings.
    LikeReply 14 months ago
    • Symmetry60
      Thank you, Susan. Your kindness has been duly noted. :-)
      LikeReply4 months ago
  • Vixility
    There are a few things I like about this poem.

    The first is the poem’s presentation: an italicized Preface which sets the mood of the poem by challenging the reader—right off the bat—to imagine a given situation. The Preface is then followed by the poem’s title (expressed in attention-grabbing bold letters) which preps the reader for what’s coming.

    The second is the poem’s story of struggle in the face of death—even while in the very throes of it!—and love’s covalent power to break the despair of hopelessness by eliciting a sense of resiliency and a will to live in the soldier who is dying.

    The third: the poem’s topic feels genuine and well thought out. I find it remarkable how beautifully and fully articulated the story was in a mere five quatrains. The italicized monologue of the dying soldier visibly and mentally held my complete attention to the page and the unfolding of the tale.

    I hope this work receives many accolades.
     
    LikeReply 24 months ago
    • Symmetry60
      I borrowed a couple concepts from a dude I know. Seems to have paid a dividend or three. I wish thinking it would rank higher, but then thinking places about 43rd on my list of strong suits. Thank you for the kind words and vote. It means a lot. 
      LikeReply 14 months ago
    • lovingempath
      Yes! What John said :).
      LikeReply 14 months ago
  • sampson.ws
    From the beginning to the end, this passage eloquently describes with brevity, a existentiel struggle within the realm of what was and what is priority in this individual's world. The author provides a unique and abstract perspective of man vs. ideology, the subject character in this poem is described to be transcending beyond a hollow dimension, akin to the physics of a black hole; which draws nearly every ounce of will from the soul. Yet when driven to tge edge of the pyre, the soul masters energy to persevere even in the most dire of circumstances, channeling his selfless love for another human being. 
    LikeReply 14 months ago
    • Symmetry60
      Thank you for the kind words and for taking time to read my work. I appreciate it.
      LikeReply 14 months ago
  • Jacobbenjaminray
    A powerful
    LikeReply 14 months ago
    • Symmetry60
      Thank you for the vote. It is appreciated.
      LikeReply4 months ago

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"Mortally Wounded: A Soldier's Tale" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 19 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/180497/mortally-wounded:-a-soldier's-tale>.

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