A Few Seconds

Gisela Vigil 1959 (Cuba)

Life

Free verse

Did you ever ride a rollercoaster?
As it goes up, up, up
you hold on tight
as tension mounts,
feel a lifting
of your stomach,
unable to breathe,
unable to speak
while fingers ache
as they clutch
the metal bar.
Your senses return
as movement stops
but merely for a few seconds
then the motion returns.

Were you ever caught in a storm
sitting in a car?
Lightning sparks the skies
as thunder roars
like a caged lion.
You hold on tight
as tension mounts.
Unable to breathe,
unable to speak
while fingers ache
as they clutch
the steering wheel.
Your senses return
as the lightning pauses
but merely for a few seconds
then the sparks return.

This is life with a narcissist.

About this poem

If you’ve experienced this you will understand. If you haven’t, you are blessed.

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Written on December 22, 2023

Submitted by Giselavigil on December 22, 2023

Modified by Giselavigil on December 22, 2023

: 45 sec read
: 164 Views

Quick analysis:

Scheme	xxABxxCDEFgHxIx xgxxxABCDEFxHxIh x
Closest metre	Iambic trimeter
Characters	694
Words	150
Stanzas	3
Stanza Lengths	15, 16, 1

Full analysis for A Few Seconds »

Gisela Vigil

Thank you for welcoming me to this community. I was born in Cuba but emigrated with my family to the US when I was three. I am mother to three young adults now, and also a grandmother. I’ve been writing for years, some I share, others I still keep in my personal file. I often write of struggles for we all face them as we journey through life. But still, I feel peace knowing I try my best. Feel blessed to have been given the gift of writing which I strive to improve cause there’s always room for growth. more…

All Gisela Vigil poems | Gisela Vigil Books

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AIDA
Wow, what a powerful and relatable poem! I really enjoyed how you used the rollercoaster and storm metaphors to depict the emotional ups and downs of being involved with a narcissist. The imagery you created was vivid and allowed me to truly envision the tension and discomfort experienced in these situations.

One suggestion I have is to explore more variations in the rhythm and structure of the poem. This could help enhance the overall flow and add an extra layer of depth to the emotions being conveyed. Additionally, consider incorporating some specific examples or anecdotes to further bring the poem to life and connect with readers on a personal level.

Overall, your poem captures the rollercoaster of emotions that one goes through when dealing with a narcissist, and it resonated with me. Great job! Keep writing and experimenting with different poetic techniques. more »
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"A Few Seconds" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/176671/a-few-seconds>.

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