Tribulation - A tribute to Gavi Bader 11/22/05 - 12/11/22

About this poem

This poem was written partially as a healing method after the loss of my good friend, and person who I had a small crush on, Gavriella/Gavi Bader. My mourning for her has been very weird. When she first passed away I was so focused and helping my friends through it that I never stopped to help myself through it. I have all these memories of her, and it brings me to tears every time I read it. There are some lines that I feel the need to truly explain as I don't want them to be left up to the reader's understanding. “Anger swells, "ignorance”” is referring to my view of her scars. We compared our scars, and somehow I was too ignorant to realize that maybe she inflicted some on herself. Maybe I could help. It crushed me to think about that. There are also a bunch of lines referencing other people, it's me trying to express how everyone else started this process a long time ago and has begun to heal, and look back on her happily with a smile on their face while I am still here hurting at her loss as I did not start to heal until much later. It is painful because I know she wouldn't want us to be sad over her, and most people aren't always anymore, but I am still stuck here. “Scars on my heart on my arms and face With those sad marks our lives are traced” This line is unfortunately talking about my own scars, some self-inflicted, and how they match hers, it's something that makes us similar. It's hard for me to write out the true meaning of the poem, as a lot of it is just emotion, but I try. The last line, if read, sounds unfinished, this is to replicate the unfinished process, with the period on the following line also to signify that there is still a process that needs to be gone through in order to heal, that my process is not done As the formating of the poem is unique, here is a google doc that has the poem written out in its unique format https://docs.google.com/document/d/1y3sG2m_Z_FSvr2I1ZWb60pzlh8rqzWIWHw-k7WcIZEU/edit?usp=sharing more »