No One Deserves Misery (Bussokusekika)

About this poem

I have been learning about my condition and demons by doing some soul searching…I have been learning about complex ptsd…I have even learned that stimming is not necessarily a bad thing…My psychiatrists have given me so many diagnosis over the years and I have researched as much as I could regarding all of them…I even tried to explain my condition to my son and I even asked him to at least read about it…But he too believes that I’m crazy and he believes I’m having a manic episode…He also believes that his mommy would never cheat on me…Oh well…Even I don’t know what My Father has in store for me…My daughter knows about my claims of being Dagesh…The chosen one…And she too chooses to believe her mother…I am just a crazy person suffering from a manic episode who should go to Cottage Hospital and seek professional treatment…I don’t think that they even know very much about my condition…I just hope that someday I’ll overcome my desmons…I guess that until that day comes I’ll remain alone and hope that My Father provides me with that which I need to learn how to make myself happy once again…I learned long ago that nobody can make anyone else happy but that person themselves…I seemed to have forgotten that along the way by putting my loved ones happiness before my own…I hope to rediscover that in myself someday…