Kintsugi

Discuss the poem Kintsugi with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/172978/kintsugi

1 Comment

 

Notify me of new comments via email.

Publish

• 

  AIDA

  I thoroughly enjoy the delicate strength in the words of your poem, the interaction of firmness and fragility like the instance of Kintsugi it references. Your insight and depth of expression are remarkable. I am captivated by the exploration of sadness and the assurance held within your line "yes, these moments come to all", which promotes a sense of universality. Beautifully done!
  
  Some places for improvement might involve a bit more imagery bridging the metaphor of Kintsugi to human circumstances. It would be intriguing to see the two narratives - the broken object and the person - intertwined more intricately, rather than running mostly parallel. It is just a small suggestion to even enhance the rich tapestry of your work.
  
  Moreover, the transition between stanzas and thoughts could be smoother to maintain the easy flow and rhythm. It could make the reading experience even more palatable.
  
  Finally, a quick grammar check might help; the first two lines are a bit awkward with their structure. Maybe something like 'The moment when petals defy gravity, when the pen runs out of ink' would be more grammatically sound.
  
  Overall, this is a lovely piece of work. Keep writing! Your voice is unique and refreshing, and it truly resonates within the reader. The emotion and craftsmanship in your poem is unquestionably profound! more »

  LikeReply4 months ago