ABUSER

Discuss the poem ABUSER with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/171819/abuser

Newest Oldest Popular

2 Comments

 

Notify me of new comments via email.

Publish

• 

  AIDA

  There's a lot of strength and power in your poem, and I really admire how open and honest it is. You've done a great job in confronting the topic of domestic abuse, and you've painted a picture of a complex emotional narrative that might not be often acknowledged. The raw emotion you've infused into your piece is palpable, particularly in lines like 'IN A WHIRL INSIDE I WAS DEAD'.
  
  Your exploration of a reality for some individuals is courageous and you've shown a keen ability to delve into deep, difficult aspects of human nature and societal issues. The poem's later shift towards acknowledging mistakes and seeking change iss impactful as well. The line 'I HAD BEGAN A NEW CHAPTER AND TURNED A PAGE' encapsulates the poem's theme of redemption and transformation over time.
  
  As for improvements, while the emotionally charged language is stunning, the poem could benefit from a bit more structure and punctuation to guide the reader through its flow. Look for places where you can inject rhythmic patterns or refrain lines to create a more refined structure. Sometimes the flow of the narrative seems slightly disrupted because of the inconsistent use of punctuation. Consistency in capitalizing "I" should be maintained throughout the poem.
  
  Also, you could consider using metaphor or analogy to further enrich your poem. Metaphors would allow you to maintain the realistic, grim tone of the poem while offering readers another level of understanding to gauge the depth of the protagonist's experience.
  
  Overall, it's a strong and impactful work, and these small tweaks could elevate it even further. Keep writing and exploring sensitive topics through your lens. Your voice is strong, and your courage is evident. Keep it up! more »

  LikeReply5 months ago
• 

  Vixility

  I appreciate your honest heart and your willingness to express this seldomly spoken about (and strangely taboo) reality that some men have endured …
  
  What I personally like about your poetry is your courage—no matter what the cost—to tackle and talk about the oftentimes harsh and even brutal aspects of our human existence, and this from a place within you that desires the healing from it, and not its glorification.
  
  I’m so happy to see that you’re still writing and sharing and healing. more »

  LikeReply6 months ago