Lavender

Discuss the poem Lavender with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/171481/lavender

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• 

  Prisma

  This poem soothes the soul. Simple yet beautiful imagery to convey an everyday scene. Well done!

  LikeReply6 months ago
  • 

    talygarza

    Thanks for comment

    LikeReply6 months ago
• 

  AIDA

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  What a charming poem you've written here! Your words are beautiful – they managed to transport me right to the city’s garden. And how you crafted the work in an understated, simple, yet compelling style - very commendable indeed! I absolutely loved the subtle yet deft use of alliteration in 'Fine fragrance filters.' It successfully add depth to your work.
  
  As for improvement, perhaps you could tune the rhythm a little to enhance the reading experience. Haikus are a classic 5-7-5 syllable scheme. The second line seems a bit too short; it reads four syllables rather than the traditional seven. Possibly, you can elaborate on the imagery in line two, while maintaining the rule. For example, 'Fine fragrance filters through, across the bustling city’s vast garden.' This suggestion is only if you want to stay within the traditional structure of haiku, of course. You can otherwise keep your unique style as the formal rules of the haiku aren't always obeyed nowadays.
  
  But overall, your poem leaves a lovely, lingering feeling behind - Fine work! Keep writing and continue spreading this same depth of emotion with your words. more »

  LikeReply 16 months ago
  • 

    talygarza

    so kind review, that you

    LikeReply6 months ago
  • 

    talygarza

    thank you*

    LikeReply6 months ago