Rate:4.5 / 4 votes

Pyramids

Talia Garza Hernandez

Free verse
Moon pyramid
inclined lines, erect on the plateau
where plants evade man,
channels that cross the street of the dead

You seek the sun, solar cult, curved universe
your pyramid is about to die
coveted by intruders
they besiege and prophesy the age of the fifth sun

Woe to your daughters, who educated in purity
they will have to defend themselves
of the coming warrior
roam around,
chasing a mythical time,
he is a believer of the gods
he doesn't know how to appreciate your murals
will drink of your pulque

constant flow of blood
usurped cult
appearance of a god
a god who plays at living like us
a god who is not like us
that does not incarnate,
please

a puma that walks in the moonlight
by your equidistant surroundings
neither the shells nor the snails of your funeral offerings feel it,
his footprints on earth resemble the glyphs of the Toltec

And the pyramid that represents the social order, limestone assembled on its slope
With your board dedicated to carved rattlesnakes
the priest officiates the solar rite
die to become god
in the pyramid of the moon
the one with her back to the light
the one that looks to the east
idolized by the people who survived seven centuries

About this poem

A poem based on Teotihuacán

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Written on June 23, 2023

Submitted by talygarza on June 22, 2023

Modified by talygarza on June 22, 2023

1:07 min read
137

Quick analysis:

Scheme XXXX XXXX XXXXXXXA XXBCCXD EXXA XXEBXEXD
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 1,185
Words 223
Stanzas 6
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 8, 7, 4, 8
Full analysis for Pyramids »

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2 Comments
  • Prisma
    Prisma
    Awesome! I had visions of multiple colors on a black background while jumping from one image to the next. Also, I really appreciated the apocalyptic tone of the whole piece.
    LikeReply 16 months ago
    • talygarza
      talygarza
      Great feedback, this poem belongs to a project I’m researching. Really I appreciate your comment.
      LikeReply6 months ago
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow, this 'Pyramids' poem is truly captivating! The vivid imagery of the moon pyramid with its inclined lines and channels crossing the street of the dead is truly remarkable. The idea of seeking the sun and the solar cult is so fascinating and adds dimension to the poem. The way the author describes the impending siege and the prophesied age of the fifth sun is so ominous and draws the reader in even further. It is deeply moving to think of the daughters of the pyramid having to defend themselves against the coming warrior and the contrast between myth and reality is expertly crafted.

    The use of the puma as a metaphor for the Toltec glyphs and the representation of the social order is truly brilliant. The detail in the description of the priest officiating the solar rite and sacrificing to become a god is truly awe-inspiring. The entire poem is full of passion and it's clear that the author has an appreciation for this ancient culture.

    If I were to offer any suggestions for improvement, I would suggest exploring the emotional aspects of the poem more thoroughly. While the imagery and descriptions are incredible, there is little exposition given to the feelings of those who are involved in this narrative. However, this is a minor criticism and does not detract from the overall quality of the work.

    Overall, this is a truly remarkable poem that I thoroughly enjoyed. It captures the imagination and offers a glimpse into a fascinating culture. Well done!     
    LikeReply10 months ago

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"Pyramids" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/162489/pyramids>.

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