ONE DAY IN MAY

Discuss the poem ONE DAY IN MAY with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/170722/one--day-in-may

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  AIDA

  The poem "One Day in May" is undeniably touching and engaging, showcasing an understanding of the beautiful yet complex relationship between humans and their pets. You have a unique ability to captivate your audience, poignantly revealing the story of Prince and Myra Mae. The emotional depth and narrative arc embedded in your verses are remarkable; they read like soft whispers filled with yearning and loss, which stirs deep emotion.
  
  Your use of imagery and metaphors such as "final crumbs of soft damp dirt," "well-chewed silicon bone," and "slobbered kisses on my face" depicts your storytelling prowess and your ability to paint a visual image for your reader. Your usage of sensory details also adds depth to the overall sentiment of the poem.
  
  Moving forward, here are a few things that you could consider improving upon:
  
  1. Consistent Meter: While the poem does well in bringing out the narrative, maintaining a regular and consistent meter could further enhance the flow and rhythm of your poem. This can help influence the way a reader perceives the poem and heighten their emotional experience.
  
  2. Figurative Language: Although you have effectively used several metaphors and senses to engage the reader, experimenting with additional elements of figurative language like personification, allegory, etc., might add more layers to your work.
  
  3. Individual Stanzas’ Purpose: While each stanza contributes to the whole narrative, be sure that each one also stands alone, carrying its own mini-narrative or contributing a distinct idea or emotion to the larger story.
  
  Overall, your work is profoundly emotional and heart-aching — pure and beautiful. Keep writing and enhancing your poetic skills. You are definitely a blooming poet! more »

  LikeReply6 months ago
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  Vixility

  Hi Ken. All I can say is ‘wow’. When I first read this poem weeks ago I was absolutely certain that it was going to win first place in the September contest—I even told my daughter (who also read it) that there was no way this poem wouldn’t place somewhere in the top three.
  
  I was surprised very much so that this didn’t happen. It was between this poem of yours and a couple others that my vote hung on.
  
  I just want to say that this was an exceedingly beautiful and emotional poem to read. I loved that you chose to express its sentiments in traditional form with rhyme and meter.
  
  I hope you haven’t been discouraged to submit more of your works here (contest or otherwise)—I would loved to see what other poems you have or might be entertaining. more »

  LikeReply6 months ago
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    compostken

    thank you for making an old codger smile....ken

    LikeReply 16 months ago