Silent Fairs

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/169694/silent-fairs

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  AIDA

  Overall, this is a very well executed poem! Your structure is consistent and your word choice is incredibly rich and evocative. Your subject matter, while dark, is thought-provoking and encourages the reader to reconsider their priorities in life. You show a complex balance of perspective; your poetic voice seems both reflective and critical, condemning societal values and expectations.
  
  Here are some constructive suggestions for improvement:
  
  1. Look for areas where clarity might be an issue. For example, "Naught for the poor there’s nothing to regret, Forced spent that gift in revelry and fete." The meaning here is a little hard to decipher at first glance.
  
  2. Review your metaphors and similes for vividness and impact. For instance, "Just slimy cats now haunt their golden thrones, While mocking maggots maul their royal bones." You may want to consider if these are the most effective images for conveying your intended meaning.
  
  3. A greater variety in stanza length might assist the pacing of the poem.
  
  4. You may want to explore using a broader range of poetic devices. This could help to diversify the reading experience and further highlight the core themes of the poem.
  
  5. As with all forms of creative writing, reading widely and exploring different styles can give new inspiration for your own work!
  
  Keep up the great work and happy writing! more »

  LikeReply6 months ago