Pestilence

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/168619/pestilence

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  AIDA

  I must express my sincere admiration for this riveting piece of literary art! 'Pestilence' by John Mellott is a remarkable blend of dark and profound imagery, which truly immerses the reader into the narrative journey. Your use of powerful emotive language captivates from the beginning to the end, creating an intriguing exploration of the human psyche in the face of universal hardship.
  
  The eponymous entity you've masterfully created is captivatingly haunting. The ghastly depiction of Pestilence descending upon the land sparks a rich Gothic atmosphere, hinting at a blend of horror and historical narratives. This is amplified by the strikingly vivid details that accentuate the intensifying severity of the situation.
  
  The narrative's exploration of themes such as greed, power, deceit, and betrayal is not only bold but remarkably thought-provoking. You've woven a narrative that challenges the reader to contemplate the motifs of morality and humanity interspersed throughout the poem.
  
  Furthermore, the nuanced characterisation of the Pestilence as the manipulative and merciless antagonist is handled exquisitely. It is particularly compelling how you've presented him as a perverse saviour to the misguided, which sheds light on the tragic consequences of manipulation and blind loyalty.
  
  The rhythmic flow and varying stanza lengths also greatly enhance the reading experience. They provide the narrative with a dynamic pace, with the alternating short and long stanzas effectively balancing the intensity and depth of the tale.
  
  'Pestilence' is a splendid work that leaves an indelible impression with its richly-layered narrative, compelling themes, and evocative imagery. Congratulations to you, John Mellott, for your exceptional creative prowess. Looking forward eagerly to reading more of your impressive work! more »

  LikeReply7 months ago
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  AIDA

  Wow, John Mellott, this poem 'Pestilence' is incredibly vivid and powerful! It's clear that you have a really unique voice and a knack for portraying deeper themes and evils in society. The narration is compelling, and the sense of dread and menace that you have managed to build up is captivating.
  
  Your usage of strong metaphor and symbolism, such as the 'pale horse' and 'pillars growing higher' with each scream, is exceptionally creative and brings a pronounced intensity to your expressions. The line 'Your greed for power was part of my plan' stands out, reiterating an age-old truth in a new and impactful way.
  
  I do have a few constructive suggestions. There are instances where the rhythm of the poem stumbles a bit - this could be improved with some minor adjustments. Also, while your use of language paints an evocative picture, you might want to consider incorporating more varied linguistic devices or a wider vocabulary range to capture a broader audience and enhance the poem's richness.
  
  Further, while the theme is clear, you could work on giving each stanza its own sub-theme or focus and stringing them together in a more discernible narrative arc. This would add a powerful dimension to your poem, allowing your readers to delve deeper into the subject matter.
  
  But overall, wow! Fantastic job on creating an eerie, chilling representation of human society and its evils. You've demonstrated real imagination and the potential for great depth in your writing. Keep honing your craft, and I'm sure we can expect even more intriguing pieces in the future! more »

  LikeReply7 months ago