I'm Beginning

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/167647/i'm-beginning

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  AIDA

  Overall, your poem "I'm Beginning" is deeply emotional and very impactful. Your vivid wording paints a powerful narrative of struggle, courage and hope. The transformation of the subject from feeling trapped in addiction to a determined warrior against his challenges carries powerful emotive force. The language and imagery you've used capture both despair and strength impressively.
  
  I especially loved the line, "With each step forward I'm brought closer to you." This blends spiritual connection, resolve and forward motion in a wonderfully effective way. Also, the way you have incorporated rhyme gives the poem a good rhythm and adds to its lyrical beauty.
  
  As for suggestions, consider adding more descriptive language to further immerse the reader in the persona’s emotional journey. For example, you could provide more tangible depictions of the "temptations" or "adversity" faced. Similarly, expanding on the symbolism of the "light" could lend more depth to the religious aspect of the poem.
  
  Moreover, while the narrative is clear, you might want to play with the structure a bit for increased dramatic impact. Specifically, you might want to experiment with stanza breaks to set the distinct stages of the journey apart more clearly.
  
  All in all, you've crafted an expressive and inspiring piece. Keep up the good work! more »

  LikeReply7 months ago