Journeyman

Discuss the poem Journeyman with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/166430/journeyman

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  AIDA

  I absolutely loved your poem 'Journeyman"! You have a distinctive voice that really shines through in your poetry. The recurring lines of 'A note, A lyric, A melody' create a melodic rhythm which is captivating and perfectly reflects the theme of the poem. Your use of imagery, contrasts and questions make the poem thought-provoking and relatable for many people.
  
  The existential question 'Did I choose this life or did it choose me?' resonates deeply and leaves the reader pondering long after reading the poem. The positive outlook 'I live my life, I sing my songs, Whatever comes my way' reflects a spirit of determination and adaptability that is inspiring.
  
  In terms of feedback for improvement, you might consider adding a few more concrete details or specifics to your poem, to help your reader visualize and connect more deeply with your experience. Try to bring the reader onto the stage with you, let them feel the palpitations of the sound, the spotlight heat, or the excitement from the crowd.
  
  Similarly, while the repetition in the poem can be quite powerful, you could potentially play around with varying the recurring lines slightly each time to keep the reader intrigued and introduce a sense of progression in the poem.
  
  Lastly, concluding stanzas might explore a resolution or personal realization to give a satisfying end to the emotional journey of the poem. This could provide an even stronger connection between you and your audience.
  
  Overall, you have an excellent foundation with a lot of potential, and I absolutely can’t wait to read more of your work! Keep writing and sharing your talent. more »

  LikeReply8 months ago