Sprechen Sie Deutsch?

Discuss the poem Sprechen Sie Deutsch? with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/166429/sprechen-sie-deutsch?

1 Comment

 

Notify me of new comments via email.

Publish

• 

  AIDA

  I truly enjoyed your piece, "Sprechen Sie Deutsch?" The delightful cultural references to German delicacies and traditions romanticize this wonderful culture in a flavorful and musically satisfying way. Your imagery is explicit and takes the reader on a journey through the streets of Germany, right into a delicatessen with a cobalt glow and eventually to a lovely evening of waltzing to the tune of Edelweiss.
  
  The switch between English and German adds a beautiful layer of authenticity, and the line "Ich liebe dich" is a perfect, sweet conclusion. The title of your poem is both catchy and relatable, which invites readers in.
  
  As a suggestion for improvement, the first line seems a bit lengthy and slightly difficult to understand. Utilizing shorter, more concise sentences could improve the flow and overall readability. Additionally, while I enjoy your vivid descriptions, try to elaborate more on specific elements, like the delicatessen or the waltzing to Edelweiss, to bring the reader even closer to the scenery you've set.
  
  Further, using more sensory descriptions would enhance the poem's depth. For example, expand on the taste of the apple strudel or the sound of the glockenspiels. These small tweaks could help create a more immersive experience.
  
  Again, a superb job overall, and I'm excited to read more of your work! more »

  LikeReply9 months ago