The Manners of a Mushroom

Mushrooms are considerate,
I've never heard one cuss.
I've never heard one raise its voice,
Or make unpleasant fuss.
They'll never interrupt you
When you're trying to make a point.
They won't mock your opinions,
Or get noses out of joint.
Mushrooms are polite
When they're invited to a meal.
They don't protest or grumble
If the food is not ideal.
They make no slurps nor belches,
Nor take more than their share,
No texting during dinner,
Or crumbs left on their chair.
A mushroom never gossips.
A mushroom bever brags.
It's always prim and proper,
And its posture never sags.
It won't push people's buttons,
Or discuss political views.
It never tracks in mud
because it's wearing dirty shoes.
A mushroom won't cause messes,
Or leave stinkers in the restroom.
If only everyone
could have the manners of a mushroom.
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Mushrooms are inconsiderate.
They don't show appreciation.
They never answer questions
Or share their information.
I've never heard one apologize,
Or try to work things out,
They'll give the silent treatment,
Which is rude beyond a doubt.
Those mushrooms have no manners
When they're at the dinner table.
If you say, "please pass the butter"
They will act like they're unable.
A mushroom never shows respect
By taking off its hat.
A mushroom won't come visit you
And have a friendly chat.
I feel like they are judging me,
So smug beneath their hood.
I wish they'd give encouragement
When I do something good.
Mushrooms are poor citizens,
They don't go out and vote,
They never pay their taxes.
Oh, I hope you're taking notes!
A mushroom leaves the empty roll of T.P.
In the restroom.
Yes, we all could do much better
Than the manners of a mushroom.