Coleprosatic-mumpsile-flu

B.C. Byron 1982 (Idaho)

July 22 


I think I have the Covid,
And a nasty Monkey Flu,
With a little touch of leprosy,
And mumps and measles too.
This horrible contagious mix,
Disease-y virus stew,
Is keeping me from work today,
That's why I'm calling you.

It's rare,
But all the symptoms fit,
Coleprosatic-mumpsile-flu.
I found it on internet,
Where everything is true.
It says that I'll miss work for months,
It says that I'll turn pink,
My fingers can't do typing,
I might struggle just to blink,
My tongue will likely swell up
And be wrinkled like a walnut,
And the only thing that I can eat
is donuts.

So please don't come and check on me,
I wouldn't want you ill.
I can suffer with the TV here
And all this time to kill.
I know how much you want to help.
I know you're going nuts.
Stay away,
But maybe
Send some donuts.

About this poem

A little light-hearted fun in hard times

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Written on January 05, 2022

Submitted by BCByron on July 11, 2022

Modified on March 05, 2023

55 sec read
49

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABCAXAAB XABABXDXDXAAE CFXFXEXCE
Closest metre Iambic trimeter
Characters 792
Words 177
Stanzas 3
Stanza Lengths 8, 13, 9

B.C. Byron

Author of illustrated children's book A CAT NAMED LUMP Available on Amazon more…

All B.C. Byron poems | B.C. Byron Books

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1 Comment
  • BobiSteel
    A really witty and whimsical poem with a great structure! The last line made me laugh out loud, really great delivery.
    LikeReply1 year ago

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"Coleprosatic-mumpsile-flu" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 17 Jul 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/133231/coleprosatic-mumpsile-flu>.

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