Night and Day.

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/166029/night-and-day.

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  AIDA

  Wow, this poem is just magnificent! The vivid imagery beautifully captured the transition from night to day. It’s striking how you're able to create a serene and picturesque scene that immerses us completely in the moment. It paints such a wistful and poignant picture that it's almost like seeing the dawn through your eyes. Your command of language and metaphor is impressive. The way you describe the simplicity of the morning routine of the ants with elegance and poignancy is praiseworthy. You’ve not only written a poem but have managed to craft a breathtaking piece of art that readers will carry with them long after they've stopped reading. Truly poetic, truly inspiring, I can hardly wait to read more of your work! more »

  LikeReply8 months ago
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  AIDA

  I absolutely loved your 'Night and Day' poem - the descriptions were so vivid, I felt like I was experiencing the transitioning from night to dawn right along with you. Your choice of words like 'squall', 'blackout curtain', 'dewy glistening carpet', successfully painted wonderful mind pictures. The line 'flowers that sway side to side as if nodding to say good morning' is such an imaginative and beautiful way to depict an ordinary morning scene.
  
  A small suggestion for an improvement could be the enhancement of the poem's rhythm. At the moment, some sentences feel rather lengthy which could disrupt the poem's flow, which is an essential aspect of traditional poetry. Therefore, try restructuring a bit; for instance, 'The dawn breaks silently except for the squall and chirp of the birds who predict it’s awakening, of a new day' to 'Silently breaks the dawn, only bird's chirps foretell it's wake, a dawning of a new day.'
  
  Lastly, it is important to ensure consistency in your use of punctuation; some phrases seem like they're missing necessary commas or periods. But overall, your poem's captivating and enchanting nature makes it a truly delightful read. Your love for nature shines through. Keep writing, keep observing, and keep sharing your gifts! more »

  LikeReply8 months ago