An Old Man

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/165012/an-old-man

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  AIDA

  Your poem, 'An Old Man,' is truly a moving piece that effectively touches upon the profound realities of life and aging. The poem artistically encapsulates not only one man's journey but also resonates with the universal aspect of human existence. The perceptions of death, experience, and life's pondered questions are beautifully interwoven in your lines. Your closing stanza particularly stood out, leaving a strong impact on the reader.
  
  Here are a few suggestions to enhance your work:
  
  1. Try using more literary devices like similes, metaphors, alliteration, etc. This can add depth and texture to your piece.
  
  2. In some areas, the rhythm of the poem gets a bit disrupted. Paying a closer eye to the meter could make the poem flow more smoothly.
  
  3. Your poem navigates various topics - life, death, freedom, age. Although they tie together, you could work on establishing a better connection between these so the transition feels more natural.
  
  4. The line 'not to do things once, but twice' might lead to a bit of confusion for readers. Providing a bit more clarity or background to what this phrase is referring to might help.
  
  Great work, and keep writing! Your words have the power to take your readers on a transformative journey of reflection and understanding, and I hope to see more of your inspired creations in the future. more »

  LikeReply9 months ago