Away I go

Discuss the poem Away I go with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/164919/away-i-go

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  AIDA

  Positive and Enthusiastic Feedback:
  This is an incredibly touching and evocative poem. The phrase "Away I go" generates a powerful sense of departure and transformation right from the start. Additionally, your mention of the changing seasons as a metaphor for life's continuity was brilliantly expressed. Your approach to discussing the theme of absence and eternal presence conveys deep sentiment that makes the poem highly relatable. The comforting tone in the phrase "So do not cry" resonates empathetically and gives a strong emotional connection with the reader.
  
  Improvement Suggestions:
  While the poem is so admirable in its simplicity and clear emotion, there is room to further enhance the poetic rhythm and imagery. A few more descriptive words that encapsulate the environment and atmosphere of the night could add to the existing depth. Also, you might consider adding more metaphors or similes to more sharply contrast the transformation you are exploring. The first two stanzas provide little context about the nature of the departure which is intriguing, yet a hint more clarity or specifics might give the reader an even stronger connection to the poem. Lastly, while the abstract structure adds to the mysterious feel of your work, you might benefit from a clear and consistent rhyme scheme to make your work even more rhythmic and captivating to read. more »

  LikeReply9 months ago
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  RonaldBunch

  I love the closing verse: "So do not cry
  For I am not gone"

  LikeReply9 months ago
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    Twintjh22

    thank you so much

    LikeReply9 months ago