The Girl in the Vents

This little girl visits me nightly, and whispers to me ever so lightly, “I want to eat your sou!” I laugh cause it’s cute, then tell her to “F*ck off!!” For she’s no match for me …. until recently. I was warned about her seemingly innocent ways, which turned out to be her greatest strength. I welcomed her to come out and chat for a bit, but in the vents she decided to sit. Crawling around from vent to vent, cell to cell, insanity is her evil spell, sending one inmate after another straight to hell. Her victims go unnoticed and decay in plain sight, for like a spider’s bite, she sinks her pearly whites. Injecting, then infecting, her venom’s self reflecting. Decepting, introspecting, regretting, contemplating, the f*ck am I even saying?! For left has become right, right has become wrong, upside has become down, hatred has become peace, love has become F*CK YOU!! These twisted views have left me skewed. So I pace and pace and pace, trying to outrace, outrace, outrace, these violent visions of your face, stuck in some horrific state, splattered with blood against a dark empty space. A catatonic evil scream, seems to be a daily scene, that haunts me ever so incessantly. And like an unwelcomed guest, I try my damn best, to send it on its way, but I guess it’s decided to stay.
So I pace six healthy steps, until a locked rusted door, prevents me from taking any more. And I can’t even tell, exactly that smell, but a mix of rust, with dried up old lust, and a dash of mistrust, covered with a thin layer of permanent dust. So I turn and count six more, only to be met once more, with yet another door. This one in the form of a wall painted in white, trying it’s best to cover the sights, of all the past frights, that each man’s had to fight, with each slow passing night. No battle is bloodier than the battle of time in the mind of these so called crimes. The only ones serving real time, are the ones without a dime. For true “innocence until proven guilty” can only be bought by the few who are filthy. Justice has become a joke, and freedom is no longer free. It has only been packaged, marketed, and sold to those with no soul, under the guise of a broken system labeled as “corrections” when in reality it’s nothing more than a dept of deceptions. Put into place by these crooked elections. A money machine of perpetual perplexions, that cannot be stopped now, it’s gained too much momentum, a mere juggernaut of capitalistic perfection …..... but who am I kidding here? What the f*ck do you even care? But let’s just be perfectly clear, being locked up for even a day is like serving a year, and much to severe. But I’m not a quitter, just confused and a bit bitter. Cause my dreams never consisted of a white-picket fence or raising a litter. So I just have one question for you, and please only answer what’s true for you, cause I know your in a rush to get back to what’s important to you. - Are the dreams you’ve been chasing even your own? Or have they only been sewn, by someone unknown, into the very blanket you use when feeling cold and alone, that you don’t even own?
Ahhhhh f*ck it!! Let’s get back to someone we’re not, through social media, we’re such a lost lot. Or how bout pretending to be, anyone but me, vicariously, through reality TV.
But Ive gotten way off topic and am tired of trying to rhyme, so I’m just gonna get back to doing my time. But before I go, I just need you to know, that I am pretty fucking scared and am trying not to show it. Cause there are tons of demons, devils, and spirits in here, looking to feast on whoever is near. I just hope I don’t lose all of me, to this rapacious enemy of hostility. Cause I’m really not half the man Ive claimed to be. So please pray for me and my destiny. Cause I can count on one hand who means anything to me, the rest I’ve treated like unwanted debris. And I dare you to see the amount of darkness in me. But these circles of prayers and fists, make me want to resist, along with the courage I see in others. But I’m not gonna lie, sometimes I just wanna lay down and die, and go to sleep forever. But if you’re anything like me, it’s easy to see, the amount of underserved grace I’ve been given, so it’s only fair I continue living.

©️shauncloonan