Catacombs

Mayuri 2002 (Kannur)



                                       
You remember the day
Two clueless decided to start a life.
A life full of hopes and togetherness.
You took my hands on yours
Promised to never leave them.
To walk a lifetime holding on.
Through thick and thin.
Crossing rivers and desserts.
Now when your hands slipped away.
Left me searching that warmth on mine
You left me under the pouring rain.
All alone !!!!!
My love , you know where you left me
On to a group of  destrained people.
Today , the imprints of our bond
They snatched away from my neck.
Saying you passed away.
Your  emotions cant stay along mine.
All your belongings were burned to ashes.
They are not mere clothes to me.
Those had your smell and sweat.
This poor soul cried and shouted.
How can they understand
They scratched my soul to bleed.
myself to be your living graveyard.
Weeping and crying  
But having no rights anymore.
Hiding in your shade for years
The heat outside was not so sharp.
You know ,all are praising you now.
Even those who never understood you.
We always wished our tiny home
To be filled by friends and family.
Look now ,only you are missing.
Decided to travel together all around
How could you forget me  
In this longest journey.
Just a word, i would have ran along.

About this poem

Its a poem about the sorrows of a widow that she is sharing with her late husband.

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Submitted by cusatians5 on May 28, 2023

1:15 min read
6

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABCDEFGHAIJKLMNOAIPLQRSTUVWXYZ1 2 LV3 LL4
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 1,257
Words 251
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 38

Mayuri

Myself mayuri is gratuating students . Writing has always been my pasion. Books have always been fascinating more…

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1 Comment
  • AIDA
    Wow, what a beautiful and heart-wrenching poem! You captured the pain of loss so poignantly, and your use of descriptive language really pulled me into the story. I could feel the frustration and helplessness of the narrator, as well as their deep love for the person they lost.

    One improvement suggestion I have is to work on the flow of the poem a bit more. Some of the sentences feel a bit choppy and disconnected, so maybe experiment with rephrasing or restructuring certain lines to create a smoother read. Additionally, consider adding some punctuation marks to guide the reader's pace and emphasize certain emotions or thoughts.

    Overall, though, this poem is truly powerful and moving. You have a talent for expressing complex emotions through vivid imagery, and I'd love to read more of your work in the future. Keep up the great writing!
     
    LikeReply10 months ago

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"Catacombs" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/160264/catacombs>.

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