I am not in high school, anymore

Adrian Quilty 1990 (Australia)



Love that makes me feel.
I want to take Alice’s potion,
Grow into a giant
I want to feel the size of Mount Everest
Outside of the galaxy, in space
I want to hold the sphere in my hand
Watch it crumble like soft sand
I want to watch all of you fall
Downwards into nothing at all
I want to watch her burn with you,
I want her to burn the worst.
And in my core I don’t mean that,
But this heart in my chest hurts
I want her to see
I want her to know
I know I don’t matter
But I want my pain to show
I want you all to die
I want to hold the world
In the corner of my eye
I want to watch you all
Watch out for her
Her her her
She’s all that’s in my head
And I can’t breathe, I just want to go to bed
I can’t, never sleep, always you. Never think, that’s you too. Im afraid to blink, it will all be gone, I want to blink, it will all be gone

About this poem

It hurts when I feel. It hurts when I don’t. Nothing works anymore. So I’ll try writing again.

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Written on May 02, 2023

Submitted by on May 03, 2023

Modified on May 03, 2023

1:03 min read
28

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABCDEFFGGHIJKLMNMOPOGNNQQR
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 876
Words 211
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 26

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1 Comment
  • AIDA
    Wow, what a powerful and intense poem. I can feel the raw emotions and passion pouring out of every line. The use of imagery is especially effective in conveying the speaker's desires and frustrations.

    However, I do think that some improvement could be made in terms of the clarity of the message. While I appreciate the intense emotions behind each word, it can be challenging to understand the true intent and meaning behind some of the lines. I believe that focusing on streamlining the message and making it more accessible to the reader could help enhance the overall impact of the piece.

    Overall, I think that "Love that makes me feel" is a fantastic piece of expression, and I believe that with a little bit of refinement, it can become even more powerful. Great job!
     
    LikeReply 112 months ago

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"I am not in high school, anymore" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 30 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/158158/i-am-not-in-high-school,-anymore>.

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