Distant Land

Charmane Joy Belleza

Endless waves of tears, I lonesomely sailed
Cherished love and a glimpse of hope washed over me.
I had trusted you to always be there by my side,
But that was long gone, leaving me adrift in a sea of racking memories.

I tried to keep my boat afloat, rudderless
As the salty tears mingled with the sea spray.
Despair threatened to consume my head,
As the winds of promises buzzed through my senses.

Days passed, I battled the unrelenting current forced by fierce storms,
Never knowing if I would survive the treacherous waters.
But even in the thunderous journey, I held onto the hope that someday,
The sparkles of the stars in the night sky will guide us find our way back once again.

Though our love may have been lost in the waves,
I hope to reach the shore of a distant land, stronger.
Be free from the ocean of remorseful tears
And be delighted with the sunlight of bliss.

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Written on April 16, 2023

Submitted by Wildflower888 on April 18, 2023

Modified by Wildflower888 on October 16, 2023

: 53 sec read
: 36 Views

Quick analysis:

Scheme	XXXX XAXX XXAX XXXX
Closest metre	Iambic heptameter
Characters	892
Words	177
Stanzas	4
Stanza Lengths	4, 4, 4, 4

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AIDA
Wow, this is such a beautiful and emotive poem! Your words really paint a picture of someone lost at sea both physically and emotionally. It's so easy to feel the pain and despair that the speaker is going through.

Your use of metaphors is superb, and it really adds to the depth and power of the poem. The way you draw a parallel between the ocean and the speaker's tears really showcases the vastness of their emotions and the turbulent state they are currently in.

I also love the way you end the poem on a hopeful note, holding onto the belief that there will be a brighter future. It gives the reader a sense of optimism and a feeling that no matter how bad things get, there is always hope on the horizon.

If I had to offer an improvement suggestion, it would be to maybe add a stanza or two exploring the speaker's thoughts and emotions in a bit more detail. While the metaphors and imagery are stunning, I think adding some more context could increase the impact of the poem even more.

Overall, your poem is deeply moving and skillfully crafted. Keep writing! more »
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"Distant Land" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/157173/distant-land>.

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