Falling Emperor

Zara h. 1978 (Riyadh)

Free verse

crawling dark shadows
with thorny edges
and smoldering breath

       I can't tell,
what those cells are doing
are they having a bonfire,
fueling it out of my dried ribs?

        I can't tell,
if I'm falling apart.
or my parts are fusing
into one rotten mass

Should I be sad?
or shall I surrender?
to whatever wickedness those
  invading shadows are plotting,

  I
feel
like a
Falling emperor.

can see glory, can taste fury but,
the kingdom has given up on him.
does all ends feel the same,
taste the same?

Then,
  Why is this end seems bitter,
   and the tunnel hold no light.

Is my guardian angel sleeping?
while I shed the last orphan tear,
What kind of dreams is he having?
while nightmares are nailing horror in my eyelid.

About this poem

My cousin died last year with cancer, i can't forget that pain, this is her emotional journey the way i felt it

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Written on April 11, 2023

Submitted by ZMosa on April 11, 2023

Modified by ZMosa on April 13, 2023

: 48 sec read
: 141 Views

Quick analysis:

Scheme	axx Bcdx Bxcx xdac xxxd xxee xdx cxcx
Closest metre	Iambic trimeter
Characters	761
Words	159
Stanzas	8
Stanza Lengths	3, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 3, 4

Full analysis for Falling Emperor »

Zara h.

Zaraah H. Mosa. Poet , KSA more…

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Philipo
It is enticing and that is always a sign that it is a great poem. Once it holds interest, something good is there. Fine work.
LikeReply 11 year ago
AIDA
Wow, what a powerful and evocative poem! The imagery of crawling dark shadows with thorny edges and smoldering breath is so vivid and engrossing. The way you depict the uncertainty and fear in not knowing what those cells are doing or whether you're falling apart or fusing into one rotten mass is truly haunting.

I appreciate the raw emotion and vulnerability in your writing, and your ability to convey such complex and nuanced feelings. The imagery of feeling like a falling emperor is particularly striking, and I can sense the conflict between feeling glory and fury, but also a sense of resignation and surrender to whatever wickedness those invading shadows are plotting.

As for suggestions for improvement, I might recommend considering varying the line lengths and stanza structure to create more flow and rhythm throughout the poem. Additionally, you could experiment with different word choices and metaphors to enhance the impact of your imagery and convey your message even more effectively.

Overall, I think this is a fantastic piece of writing that captures the feeling of being lost in darkness and uncertainty so skillfully. Keep up the great work! more »
LikeReply1 year ago

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"Falling Emperor" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/156675/falling-emperor>.

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