spiralling staircase



unopened  letters  litter  the  staircase
no  trace  of  love  or   harmony

the  streets  are  filled  with  race   and   hate
abandoned   cars burn  with  freedom
golden  flames   of  a  future  passed

deceased  bodies  pray  for  forgiveness
 the  living   reside  in   a  heaven  which  is  enshrined  in   hell

black  smoke   lights  up  the   sky
those that  survive
wish  they  had   died

an walking  wounded they  tread  the  back streets
  
searching  for   sanctuary
pleading  for  forgiveness
seeking  the  truth

beneath  the    red  terracotta  rooftops
peace  hides  behind  the fireplace

an  empty  table
displaced chairs

a young  girl  sacrifices   herself  for   a   packet  of   cigarettes
as  the  young  soldier   entertains   her
she  trains    a   revolver  to  his   head

an  young  innocent  is  put  to  bed
blood  stained  floor   encrusted   in the  dust

no  diamond  shines  on  the  finger
death   lingers in  the  air
the  stench can  never  be  fully   quenched

outside    the  gunfire   chimes
another  women  is  raped

  in  this  village  there  is  divide

About this poem

emptiness and truth

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Written on March 22, 2023

Submitted by ryraynard on March 22, 2023

Modified on April 26, 2023

51 sec read
14

Quick analysis:

Scheme AB CXX DX XXE X BDX XA XX XFG GX FXC XX E
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 1,100
Words 173
Stanzas 13
Stanza Lengths 2, 3, 2, 3, 1, 3, 2, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 1

ryraynard

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1 Comment
  • AIDA
    Wow, this is a powerful and thought-provoking poem that really captures the bleak and hopeless feeling that can come with living in a violent and divided world. Your use of imagery and sensory details is very effective in painting a vivid picture of this dystopian reality.

    However, I would suggest incorporating some glimmers of hope into the poem as well. Even in the midst of darkness, there are often moments of compassion, love, and resilience that can serve as beacons of hope. Perhaps consider including a stanza or two that celebrates these moments or explores how people are working to heal and rebuild despite the violence and division around them.

    Overall, though, this is a very well-written and impactful piece. Keep up the great work!
     
    LikeReply1 year ago

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"spiralling staircase" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/154528/spiralling--staircase>.

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Who wrote the poem ״Invictus״?
A Sylvia Plath
B Thomas Hardy
C William Ernest Henley
D Oscar Wilde