Rate this poem:5.0 / 1 vote

I am not laughing anymore.

Amanda East 1976 (Ogden)

The child throws mittens against the wall.
Mom, or no mom, she was cool and withholding.
Daddy use to care until he got the stare.
Purple mittens got lost in the snow.
The repercussion would be too hard to bare.
Knots of worry held the child still.
She kissed a boy when married to a man.
Four times she thoughtlessly birthed forth life with no plan
She didn’t know there was a monster inside her house.
It was lazy.
It was angry.
It was lonely.
It was missing a heart.
She would hide through a screen and a telephone.
The monster did not know
That it would grow to be a hoe.
It pasted pink and yellow flowers all over its silver tongue
The child gave pretty names to this kind of mud.
Filled up with worms and said it taste good.
One day the Sun came out to play
And The Devil slipped the child a gift.
A box with a bow?
What’s this?
A frozen heart and a mirror!?
Her chest shrunk in fear!
Disgusted she took a look.
Thump, thump, thump!!!
The Drumming was too loud!
The despair too much!
The pain unbearable!
Wide-eyed and trembling
The Child asked
Who am I?

About this poem

Inspired by a stimulating conversation about the monster within us.

Font size:
Collection  PDF     

Written on January 10, 2023

Submitted by Oceanloveisland on January 12, 2023

Modified by Oceanloveisland on January 12, 2023

1:09 min read

Quick analysis:

Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 1,069
Words 233
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 34

Amanda East

I grew up in Utah. I have four kiddos. I am now in a healthy happy relationship. I am spiritual, but not religious. I love thinking deeply about the purpose of life. more…

All Amanda East poems | Amanda East Books

1 fan

Discuss the poem "I am not laughing anymore." with the community...

1 Comment
  • Symmetry58
    Had I not commented on this marvelous poem? Admission? Self-biographical jewel? Fiction? Non? I could swear I had already left my footprint on this one. I hope it doesn't make you uptight that I comment as much as I do. If so, I can back off. I'm just an oddity, as per being male of some species, in that I actually love reading (good) poetry. Most people prefer only to be seen than to see. Oh no not I. This is really a fantastic hunka-hunka creativity. Keep up the good work, toots. :-) 
    LikeReply 14 months ago
    • Oceanloveisland
      Thank you dear. I love your comments just as they are. I summited this a day or two after we met here. I did not explain myself in this one, did I? It is about my awakening to the monster within. I was naïvely happy before I realized there was not much to be happy about at that conjuncture in my life. Reality had a way of slapping me into perspective. I am very greatful to the Devil, I am. ;) 
      LikeReply4 months ago


Find a translation for this poem in other languages:

Select another language:

  • - Select -
  • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
  • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
  • Español (Spanish)
  • Esperanto (Esperanto)
  • 日本語 (Japanese)
  • Português (Portuguese)
  • Deutsch (German)
  • العربية (Arabic)
  • Français (French)
  • Русский (Russian)
  • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
  • 한국어 (Korean)
  • עברית (Hebrew)
  • Gaeilge (Irish)
  • Українська (Ukrainian)
  • اردو (Urdu)
  • Magyar (Hungarian)
  • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
  • Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Italiano (Italian)
  • தமிழ் (Tamil)
  • Türkçe (Turkish)
  • తెలుగు (Telugu)
  • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
  • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
  • Čeština (Czech)
  • Polski (Polish)
  • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Românește (Romanian)
  • Nederlands (Dutch)
  • Ελληνικά (Greek)
  • Latinum (Latin)
  • Svenska (Swedish)
  • Dansk (Danish)
  • Suomi (Finnish)
  • فارسی (Persian)
  • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
  • հայերեն (Armenian)
  • Norsk (Norwegian)
  • English (English)


Use the citation below to add this poem to your bibliography:


"I am not laughing anymore." Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 10 Jun 2023. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/148578/i-am-not-laughing-anymore.>.

Become a member!

Join our community of poets and poetry lovers to share your work and offer feedback and encouragement to writers all over the world!

June 2023

Poetry Contest

Join our monthly contest for an opportunity to win cash prizes and attain global acclaim for your talent.

Browse Poetry.com


Are you a poetry master?

"He was like a rainy Tuesday" is an example of ________.
  • A. idiom
  • B. simile
  • C. metaphor
  • D. analogy