No name

I am falling to pieces falling apart
Yet you say it’s an art

Don’t lie to me
You refuse to see

I’m trying to show
Because I thought you would know
 
I am fallin down, but don’t pick me up
I’m brushing off the dust

Making a sculpture
I laugh when you say I’m pure

Why can’t anybody see
I’m never truly happy

Believing the lies
Why can’t I cry

Why do I need to hide
I look to the sky

I’m lost trying to find the way
Trying to see when we crossed paths again

Trying to map where I began
I don’t really know

Instead you ignore, man I’m kinda bored
Why do you have chores, what are friends even for

Losing control, nah it’s not a joke
You treat it like one, haha a gun

 Funny, ya see
Why are you looking at me

Ha I got your attention thanks

Cruising down the banks of my river. But I forgot to tell you, I can’t swim. I can’t seem to win.

I can’t seem to do a thing
Maybe because I’m a human being

But clearly you aren’t
You’re so perfect

Totally fine, you act like I can’t see in between the lines Just stop the lies

I can see the distance
I can see the fear

I’ll step away, act like I wasn’t even here
I’ll leave you be, but I pray you’ll see

How much longer can I last, much much longer than in the past

I’m wearing a cast but I never heal
Why did you steal my heart

My life, my soul, why can’t I survive!?
Covered in blankets I like to hide

I like to write maybe I scared you
But I like to cry at night

Is that alright
Because I’m not alright

I’m not alright
I put up a fight

I hide from the light
I split right in two

Fall into them or into you
I cannot pick and choose

So do you got me
Or will you lose your grip on my arm will you let me

Drown, man I’d die with a frown
Why’d you let me down, you said you’d never let me down

Poems from my phone
You only leave me alone

Boom there I go
Watch the words flow

Tears never come
Seriously, I am so done

Being the one
Who holds the world

I don’t give a shout
Just LET ME OUT

Told you I was falling soon
You thought it would be a little boom

Til you heard the crash
Now you’re looking back

Yeah maybe she told me
She lost the old me

Maybe she told me she was falling to the edge
Looking over the ledge

Yeah now I can see
Why you’re not happy

Oh so now it’s all clear
You’re believing my fears

Well I’m not done
I’ve just begun

You see, I have yet to cry
And I’ll never leave until I die

I always try
But maybe it’s too thick of a disguise

Look me in the eyes
How could you leave me

How could you forget
How could you be silent

How did you lose focus
No one really knows us

No one really notices
I cannot stop this I hope you know

That I never mean to blow
I try not to let it show or let it go

I’m sorry I didn’t keep it in
I’m sorry I didn’t keep it under covers

I never meant to show it
No one really knows yet

Please just listen, it was a mistake
Nah it’s too late

Pounding on myself at night
How couldn’t I realize

That wouldn’t make me alright
Why did I have to fight

Next time shut your mouth
Next time don’t say it aloud

Next time keep it quiet
Next time just keep it silent

No one wants to hear
Nobody cares

You waste their time
You waste their air

So hold it in don’t let it out
You are just a nuisance through these bouts

Don’t voice the doubts
Don’t ever shout

You only hurt the ones you love
Stupid little girl she died in the flood

She thought she could swim
She thought she could win

But in the battle against the world
She thought she had learned

But there she is, choked from the tears
Drowned by her fears

Give her CPR
Next time take it far

Make her survive til she hides her pain
Even when she falls apart her blood won’t stain

We’ll take it out of her
We’ll train a better girl

She’ll be stronger and she won’t lose
But she won’t be able to choose

12-9-22
Friday, December 9th, 2022