Hineni

Paradoxical breaths
of fire and brimstone,
Singed nostrils
but feeling cold.
Burnt sienna
Once my skintone,
But soon
turned to the hue of bone.

This path
I've traveled times before,
Always lost
by a map of rune.
Saddled tightly
to a wild boar,
heart and mind never attuned.

Above I hear
The angels falling,
Swift wind
and snapping spines.
Mephistopheles
below is calling ,
The clay earth
Splitting behind.

This reality
seems quite farcical,
One conjured
Up with rue..
A black moon
Made with 3 particles,
fright , sickness
and a dejected mood.

The harp strings
that used to beautifully play,
tunes that soothed me
Quite good and well,
Now just darken
and drab the day,
Like gray ashes
Straggled through hell...

I dont know how
to stop and cease ,
The watering
Of my stabbing fears.
And so
those flowers grow and increase
by the falling
Of my salty tears...

Burning the oak floor
step by step,
A voice
On the phone like frogs.
Illusive
With her words of hep,
A headache
With a thickened fog.

Thoughts with stems
out of my nose ,
behind
a petal decorated curtain.
While other problems
Exploded and arose,
And I...
became a burden..

If the day
should come, Hineni!!!
My suitcase
Will be packed.
I'll March
the dignity drums Hineni!!!
Knowing...
I won't be back.