Flirtatiously high

A message.
My phone lights up with a message from you.
I read it from my Lock Screen and roll my eyes.
A call.
My phone buzzes and I look over to see you calling.
I want so badly to just let it ring, but instead I pick it up and say hello.
I’m drunk.
You say your drunk, and I ask why.
You say it’s to “take off the edge” and I ask what the edge is.
It’s life.
You say the edge is life.
You flirt.
You flirt with me even when your in a relationship.
Platonically.
I specify that your flirting platonically and you say sure.
Forever.
You say that I’m your forever.
Marriage.
You say we are gonna be married someday.

Your high or your drunk off of drugs, booze, or lack of sleep. You tell me that you will never forget me and that I’m your forever. God I fucking wish that was true! I wish you’d just love me and not her! I wish you’d hurry up and choose between us and love me. But a part of me is scared you’ll choose her because she’s the safer option. She’s closer, and your able to hug and kiss her. Her family likes you, but mine doesn’t. She’s everything you need, but I’m not. I’m everything you want, and she’s some of it. You moved on, and for 2 months I’ve tried so fucking hard to. I’d look at your Instagram and your TikTok praying to god I wouldn’t see a picture of y’all together and see y’all kissing. It’s torn me up inside and I just want to scream and cry. I paint the picture that I’m so happy when I’m really not. I have hid it so well that even my family and therapists don’t realize that it’s an act. A facade. You don’t realize what your doing to me.

High.
You flirt with me when your high
Drunk.
You call me when your drunk.
Love.
You only love me behind closed doors.
Forever.
You only say forever so that I’ll stay.
Platonically.
You only flirt with me platonically.