I Fear Everything in Different Ways

I fear everything in different ways
I fear the things I don't understand
I fear the things I don't want
I fear the things I want
I fear the things I understand

I fear everything in different ways
I fear for the ones that gave in
I fear for the ones that have lost themselves
I fear the ones that take it out on me
I fear the times when I was weak
I fear the times when I will be weak

I fear everything in different ways

I don't want to fear the things I don't understand
I don't want to fear the things I don't want
I don't want to fear the things I want
I don't want to fear the things I understand
I don't want to turn against myself once again
Just as yesterday...
Just as tomorrow...

I will hear them call out to me from inside my own head
I must sleep
I must walk
I must breathe
I must exist

Knowing that it is for nothing,
But believing it is for something.
Believe that those I fear won't use me selfishly,
Believe that the things I fear won't bring me further into the stench of humility and regret,
Being humiliated by all the evils I must resist everyday,

Just so I don't have to fear everything in more interesting ways.

I can't speak,
I can't communicate,
I can't connect,
I can't accomplish,

Without fear,
Without pain,
Without a lack of understanding of myself and those around me.

What is there in this world for me?
That won't potentially hurt me?
I wake up day after day,
Knowing no one cares.

Because someone's got it worse than me,
But someone's got it better than me,
Someone's got it the same as me.

And much like a shadow,
Cold and Dark,
Everyone is casted out from themselves,
Just to look upon what they have become,
Thanks to those around them.

Just as I have,
I have nothing but myself to see it all.
The fear
The pain
The lack of understanding of myself and those around me.

What is there in this world for me?
That won't potentially hurt me?

I fear everything in different ways.
I fear control,
I fear myself,
I fear my friends,
I fear my family,

I fear everything in different ways.

I wake up day after day,
Knowing no one cares.
Because someone's got it worse than me,
But someone's got it better than me,
Someone's got it the same as me.

And much like a shadow,
Cold and dark,
Everyone is casted out from themselves,
Just to look upon what they have become.

Who am I?
Why am I?
What am I?
How am I?
Where am I?
When will I?

Bound to this temporary body to leave it behind,
Working hard

To feed it,
To fear it,
To feel it,
To understand it,
To hate it,
To keep it,
To lose it.

Where will I be?
Where will I go?
There I will be.
There I will go.

Nobody understands me and I don't understand anybody.

People shut out what I have to say and I shut out what people have to say.

I was born into this world from nothing,
I was seen as useless,
Until a lifetime ago.
Someone saw me for who I was,

And that someone hated me.

That someone bound me to myself and ripped itself from the inside out until it screams it's little heart out,
Crying for release,
But for what reason?

No one saw,
Except for the monster that grabbed me,
And used it against me.
And hurt me.

I am still here,
And here I will remain...

Just to watch everyone fear everything in different ways.