Who am I now?

Love is fake but I have experience real love,
I am blessed but now my minds left emotionally inept;
That's ok I don't need to, but I would like to find someone who can handle, all the aspects of this dark strange twisted mind.

It is intelligent , deeply felt, yet brutally stubborn;
I can be proud and humble, sweet and loyal, yet to much for most, to honest; Can I be forgiven, I have accepted who I am, could you love the bold unapologetic personality.

My Mind is overwhelmed and complex, I hope you can get past and what you see, out of context; I am strong but is it to much, only so much can be endure before I let the messiness unleashed out to play

Will they be in shock and dismay? Or see how strong and vindictive my brain has become, to survive the violent world I lived in this way; I'll poison those who get in my way, all while portraying  so sweet and innocent.

You messed with my mind, you will wish, I was as timed as you assumed, really I am a ball of concealed deadly rage; dying to escape the pain inside, beneath surface and unpleasantly, death I am capable of

My empathy speaks volumes of good, but darkness within and evils is as equally perused; Unless  it is not worthy of my time and a waste of my breath, but I am, I have become and that's why my story my truth I speak of

Really I am meaningless and twisted, I was lost in a tragic reality; a life I thought was going to be fine, but instead lesson in life I became defined