Lost the fight

This my name it’s mud it is dragged, this my name you might think you know what I am

I am a deception in words, the trueth in actions and I still am here being the girl I have learned a lot but I am still fresh and unbothered by your hurt

I try so hard but some days in vain
I loved you so hard and the scars on my soul remain

I don’t know how to move on, to bury all now it’s said and done
I wanted the life we discussed so bad but I was foolish for thinking we could of had it

I can’t even think about how good it once was coz all I remember is how much I got you worked up

My head hurts from trying to understand how one minute it was mad love, the next you wanted to take me down

I am so confused why I was never enough, not allowed to be trusted or simply just loved

I miss you  so much, but I am afraid of you now, just hearing your voice tears me apart

Why do I still feel like I lost my whole life, why couldn’t you love me like you claimed you would protect me