Analysis of Unexplained Weight Gain in Woman

I was sitting alone in a restaurant when she wobbled
through the front door swaying back and forth
like a drunken sailor only she wasn't drunk, just fat.

I wondered if she had a condition, a condition that puts
on pounds exponentially, a condition she has no control over, which would sadly explain her hobbled gait.

As she slowly craned herself onto a cafe chair, folds of fat spilling over portside and starboard, I recalled reading something about polycystic ovary syndrome, a hormonal disorder that causes
unexplained weight gain in women.

The woman looked to be around forty and otherwise in
good health. She had long, beautiful hair with
flecks of fool's gold flickering in the air.  Her makeup was
concise and precise and not a mark off the mark.

She had a very attractive face and I began to feel deeply
sorry for her and her uncontrollable condition. But when the silos of stacked food platters arrived at her table,

I realized she did not have polycystic ovary syndrome,
or a faulty thyroid, or even longterm steroid-use weight gain, she was, quite clearly, crippled by calories.