Analysis of Disarray

I realized it’s not her fault. It's not his fault, I mean frankly it’s no ones fault. It’s me. And it will always be me. For no matter what a sacrifice or gain, I will never be able to fill it all. I get it now. I understand. I think the feeling of unworthiness is one of the most depleting emotions out there. How is one supposed to go on with the knowledge that they will never do anything right. Life is about choices. I was just not aware that there are rarely any right choices. I debate and I think and I just completely obsess over my choices about my life. Time is a precious thing, and I want it all. On the contrary, I at times feel so overwhelmed on what to do I don’t want any more time. I don’t want anymore time at all. I want to end it. All of it. No more indecision. No more attempts at acceptance or love. No more effort being poured into people who care far less about me than I do them. Just gone. I need it over. I take that back. I will live. I want to live.