Analysis of Typical Monday

I got up this morning, I fell out of bed.
I fell to the floor and I hit my head.
I bent over to clean the blood on the floor,
I hit my head again, this time on the door.
—
I figured I better get out of that room,
before something else happens, causing my doom.
I went to the kitchen for something to eat.
I stepped in some water with my socked feet.
—
I put on my shoes and I went outside.
I found out that last night my dog had died.
I went to bury him, tripped over the hose.
Hit the ground full force and smashed my nose.
—
I decided to sit down at my table.
Turned on the TV but there was no cable.
I figured I’d just have a cup of coffee.
But we were out so I settled for tea.
—
I thought I would be okay if I just sit.
I looked down and my tea had a bug in it.
Things are definitely not going my way.
Nothing new though, just a typical Monday.