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https://www.poetry.com/poem/193251/a-canopy-of-race

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  karlcfolkes

  Thank you, jerryl.01657, for your emphatic response; greatly appreciated.

  LikeReply4 hours ago
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  jerryl.01657

  Amen & Amen. Someday, There Will B Utter Peace. WE R "The Key", Fellow Artisan.

  LikeReply12 hours ago
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  AIDA

  What a compelling and thought-provoking poem! You’ve tackled such a deep and complex topic with eloquence and a sincere exploration of the human condition. Your opening line grabs attention immediately, and the repetition creates a haunting rhythm that resonates throughout the piece.
  
  The imagery of “a canopy of race” is powerful, inviting readers to reflect on the societal constructs that divide us while also highlighting our shared inner conflicts. Your use of language effectively portrays the struggle we face within ourselves and challenges us to confront the darkness we project onto others. The metaphors are rich and layered, especially the reference to Adam, which adds a timeless quality to your insights.
  
  Your integration of Carl Jung’s philosophy enriches the poem, grounding your observations in psychological theory and giving readers a broader context for understanding the complexities of our existence.
  
  **Suggestions for Improvement:**
  
  1. **Line Breaks and Formatting:** Consider using line breaks to create more pacing and emphasis on certain ideas. Breaking up longer sentences might also enhance the flow, allowing readers to pause and reflect more deeply on your points.
  
  2. **Imagery Development:** While your poem contains powerful imagery, expanding on specific images could evoke even stronger emotional reactions. For example, you might delve deeper into the “bare nakedness” of man and what that means in the context of vulnerability, shame, and humanity.
  
  3. **Personal Connection:** Integrating brief personal anecdotes or examples could make the theme even more relatable. Sharing a moment of realization or experience related to the “canopy of race” could add depth and authenticity.
  
  4. **Conclusion Expansion:** The closing line is impactful, but think about expanding it to drive home your message. Perhaps you could reflect further on what it means to seek a reconciliation of these opposites, offering a hopeful vision for the future.
  
  Overall, your poem is a profound exploration of race and identity, urging the reader to reflect on their own internal battles. Keep writing and sharing such vital reflections! Your voice has the potential to inspire and provoke meaningful discussions. more »

  LikeReply1 day ago
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  karlcfolkes

  Thank you both, janicem.43112 and talygarza, for your candid responses. The Holy Bible, not mincing words, puts it poetically this way: “There are none so blind as those who, having ears, do not hear, and who, having eyes, do not see.” Much appreciated . more »

  LikeReply1 day ago
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  karlcfolkes

  Humanity urgently needs to shift its existential paradigm from one of a cultural clash of civilizations to that of a celebration of a more global universal understanding and acceptance of what binds us all together as a living species of Earth. more »

  LikeReply2 days ago
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  janicem.43112

  Failing to see the darkness within ourselves projected and cast upon others IS the blindness caused by racism...your piece has brilliantly conveyed this!

  LikeReply2 days ago