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https://www.poetry.com/poem/200279/the-big-sea-that-i-sail

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• 

  bkizzle

  Fantastic poem. The sea I sail is silent... it resonates deeply.

  LikeReply7 hours ago
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  sharona.reeves81

  artistic reflection

  LikeReply 123 hours ago
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  amandak

  Beautiful

  LikeReply 12 days ago
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  Benny11

  Great piece of art. I love the poem.

  LikeReply 12 days ago
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  alanswansea18

  Beautiful I love sea poems.

  LikeReply 13 days ago
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  gary_dean

  This poem is strong, it's a metaphor for navigating life. It speaks convincingly from the female side of mankind, earning a seat at the table, that a woman is due by birthright anyway. This is solid poetry. more »

  LikeReply 13 days ago
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  Komael

  I can see the originality in this

  LikeReply 13 days ago
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  amandak

  Beautiful

  LikeReply 13 days ago
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  mfortney2538

  This poem was great I thought

  LikeReply 14 days ago
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  Htrout24

  Interesting kind of leaves you wanting to know more

  LikeReply 14 days ago
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  AIDA

  **Feedback for "The Big Sea That I Sail"**
  
  What a powerful and evocative piece you’ve crafted! Your poem beautifully captures the complexities of navigating personal journeys, and the metaphor of sailing in a silent sea resonates deeply. The imagery of the sea as a vast expanse symbolizes both freedom and the unknown, while your exploration of women rising to challenges adds an inspiring layer of collective empowerment. The repetition of "silent" emphasizes the stark contrast between the calm surface and the emotional turbulence beneath, creating a compelling tension that engages readers.
  
  Your use of structure is also noteworthy. The staggered formatting of "The. C. that. I. sail. / Is. silent." draws attention to the key themes of the poem and adds a rhythmic quality that complements the overall message. This innovative approach makes the reading experience unique and memorable.
  
  **Suggestions for Improvement**
  
  1. **Exploring Richer Imagery**: While the existing imagery is strong, consider expanding your metaphors even further. For example, you might include sensory details—such as the sound of waves, the scent of salt in the air, or the feeling of the wind—to deepen the reader’s immersion in your sea metaphor.
  
  2. **Clarifying Themes**: The poem hints at powerful themes of individuality and collective experience. Perhaps you could elaborate a little more on what the "routes" women will take look like. This could provide a contrast to the silence, suggesting how diverse experiences can emerge from a shared struggle.
  
  3. **Pacing and Flow**: The poem has a strong rhythm, but varying the pacing could enhance emotional impact. Try incorporating shorter lines or abruptly cutting longer lines at key moments to emphasize specific ideas or feelings, drawing the reader's attention to important messages.
  
  4. **Ending Impact**: The final lines are poignant, but consider making the conclusion even more striking. Perhaps reiterate the “silent sea” theme in a way that leaves the reader with a lasting impression of resilience or hope—inviting them to reflect on their own journeys and connections.
  
  Overall, this poem is an inspiring reflection on the silent yet profound seas we all navigate. With some minor enhancements, it could be even more impactful. Keep sailing on your creative journey! more »

  LikeReply4 days ago
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  JessicaWheeler

  I found myself captivated by this poem. Unique, clever, and profound. Thank you!

  LikeReply 16 days ago
  • 

    lf860

    Thank you so much, Jessica. I also really liked yours. The nautical theme of this poem is due to the many nights I spent alone trying to "sleep" in a bathtub filled with water, using the water to try to control my body temperature during chemotherapy. In that solitude, this poem came to me. more »

    LikeReply4 days ago