Or So I Thought

January 30th, 2000
The day I was born.
The day your life changed
Or so I thought.
The day you become a father
Or so I thought.
The day you felt unconditional love
Or so I thought.

You kept up the act for 7 years
And then nothing.

I never understood why
Why?
TELL ME WHY?
Why?
Why dad?
Why?

Why. Did. You. Leave. Me?
Why did you stop caring?
Why did you stop loving me?
Why me?

Do you know what it means to be father?
Guidance.
Comfort.
Love.
That feeling like home.
Familiarity.
But I don’t feel home.
With you.
I don’t feel anything.
With you.
I feel nothing.
I don’t know you.
I don’t want to know you,
It’s unfortunate that I’m a part of you.

But my life is so great
Without you.
I have a family who loves me
Unconditionally
I have a mother
Who nurtures me
Guides me
Who loves me.
Unlike you

So this is my goodbye
To you.
There’s no bad blood
Or hate
I just need to say goodbye.
At least for now.
This not forever
It’s just for now.
So goodbye dad.
I’m sure we’ll meet again somehow.