Soldier

There's a me inside of all of this
Past the smiles and paint and curtsy's
There's a soul behind these blue eyes
Always they're watching, but never do they see

I'm doing backbends, standing on my head for cheers.
Just as long as I keep my lid on tight.
I've got ribbons, scores, and impressive credentials
Just to mask all the things I keep deep down inside.

Yes, I'll be your soldier
So quiet and neat
Whatever it takes
To make you proud
Cuz if I mess up, I know what that means
Here comes the fist
And I can't make a sound.

I've learned how to please,
I've made it an art.
I can carve my own skin and not feel any hurt.
As long as I deliver what's required each day,
And keep my worthless feelings off the sleeve of my shirt.

I just run into trouble when my bottle fills up
My limbs become jello and I crash to the floor
The coursework too late, the duties too much
So down with the pills, so I can tap dance some more.

Yes, I'll be your soldier
So quiet and neat
Whatever it takes
To make you proud
Cuz if I mess up, I know what that means
Here comes the fist
And I can't make a sound.