Not Yet

I'm just over forty; I'm too young to die
With tears on my cheeks, I heave a big sigh
My son's not yet grown; my affairs are a mess
How much longer I have, is anyone's guess.

I try to calm down, and pick up the phone
Only hoping that my daughter is home.
She says hello, and the tears come again
I have so much to say, where do I begin?

I tell her I need her, and that I'm real sick,
We need a plan; we'd better think quick.
I don't want to die, but I don't have a choice
I tell her I'm scared in a quiet little voice.

As time marches on, I feel like I'm beat
Overcoming the odds - an impossible feat.
It's getting worse, I'm losing the war
I don't have the strength, just not anymore.

As I lie in my bed; the family's all there
I wish I could tell them just how much I care
They're all gathered around, they seem all set
My heart stops beating, but my mind screams, "Not yet!"