Gustav, a brother.



A smile like charcoal,
Spreads across my mind,
Marking a sandstone thought,
A brother of mine.

Bead wrapped wrists,
Thin frames rising from the ocean,
Truly a good and noble soul,
Deaf to the crashes of the ocean.

An embrace projects to me,
Tiny expansions to a smile,
Unveiled, blinding admiration,
Don’t you dare leave.

A Swede of style and charisma,
The sun twists from your glare,
Hours crystallize and glisten,
Your whiskers make a jolly moment.
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Submitted on May 01, 2011

Modified on March 05, 2023

23 sec read
1

Quick analysis:

Scheme AXXX XBAB XXBX XXBX
Closest metre Iambic trimeter
Characters 437
Words 77
Stanzas 4
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 4

Akira Dawn

I just thought it would be interesting to get a little feedback on what I write. It is often quite abstract and truly not great (this is not my self-deprecation shining through), but I would really love to improve.I am inspired by the works of Mark Twain in particular, he is amongst the wisest men ever to have lived. more…

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