February Twenty-Second Two-Thousand and Two

so i hold my breath
 and close my eyes
wishing it would all turn dark
 so i could let go for the last time
but i couldn’t last
 as i gasp for my breath
i start to cry
 and know this wont be the last time
i need your love
 but don’t believe it exists
it could soon be too late
 to let you prove it
i’ll prove it to you,
 prove it to myself
maybe i’ll be missed,
 maybe i’ll go to hell
so handful by handful,
 it’s all in slow motion
it’s so hard to swallow,
 but i’m trying to let go
i want to cry,
 i want to sleep
i start to puke
 and count the sheep
but you wouldn’t let me be
the rest is a blur,
 a faint memory
but i knew you were there
 and you always will be