Colonitis

When rendered commatose by stress, the anxious writer’s colon does only
a half-asked job and degenerates into a semi-colon; intermittent in its punctuation; resulting of course in fluctuation of the Muse’s functuation;

Which is all highly irregular; but not nearly as bad as a semi-colon reverting
to its lower nature and lapsing into a comma, hardly stemming the flow of idea,
resulting naturally in verbal diarrhea,

Which, however commacle, is not nearly as bad as a semi-colon losing its better half
and sinking into a barren period. Stopping all inspiration.
Resulting periodically in mental constipation.