Acceptance

When explosions of thought electrify with force,
a mind that seemed so peaceful moments past;
Mercurial are these thoughts that go unnoticed,
until the waking hour of dawn has passed.

Along the road of life that I have traveled,
there's often been a curve of negativity;
It started as a voice that spoke in spirals,
leading me to doubt my worth and sanity.

I struggled to concentrate on simple things,
but within my soul a fear began to rise;
Who was this person who claimed to be me,
or was I just a figure in masked disguise ?

The doctors told my folks it was just a phase,
yet they were apprehension as was I;
My normally cheery ways had dissipated,
and many days and nights I'd sit and cry.

Depression has a reputation as misleading,
that somehow those inflicted can just ignore;
The many facets of this illness which affects,
each minute and every hour right to our core.

After countless years of analytic therapy,
and behavioral modifications that applied;
My life improved considerably though not completely,
as demons strike insidiously throughout time.

Acceptance of this condition has not been easy,
my medication helps me deal with the existing pain;
Of feeling different than most folks around me,
and along with faith I can assuage my guilt and shame.

Clever jokes that filled the room with raucous laughter,
had been an escape for this girl they voted Class Clown;
The ache inside seemed lighter as my self-esteem improved,
with both friends and teachers always wanting me around.

Despite the awesome cheer these experiences gave,
I still was much the same tormented soul;
And learning to cope with this part of who I am,
has been a life-long test to reach that final goal.