FROM MEMORIES TO THE FUTURE

It would be nice to have a few more years before I leave this earthly Being here for good; I would happily believe that if the rotating, uncertain Fate were thrown before me on cards, and what it has in store for me, or if the real seers predicted from shining silver stars that: Well, what will happen in the next turbulent decades?!

I have known for a long time that my measured time was set by the Pákas, and I live from my pumping heart deadline, while only my organs can handle it. And while Hangman Time sings above my head the peculiar sanctity: , Here you stay! Well, appreciate yourself!" - It would often be nice to defy these vile risk balances a little: at least another thirty or so years, at least enough that if others managed to find the One-Dear, then I'm not a hopeless case either.

And as a small-money, average broker who bargains in his years - I walk up and down the chess steps of Being and see what paths I can take?! - A true lump As Sisyphus, I slowly carry the memories of my past life on my back, but only a few people can gain admission to the gate of my heart! I believe less and less in serene, unexpected encounters, as well as blind luck. On the sediment of days - if I'm not careful - I can still tip the scales of my life by swaying. Yes! But is the given balance accurate?

The formula of desires and dreams is not only a vile, futile delusion - but a purposeful recognition of a chain of connections?! Maybe I couldn't be marble, just good-for-nothing mud-clay, just like the mela Enkidu. In vain I endured in vain many years unfair I could never be whole, and whole, lifeless Absence and Silence are waiting for me...