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Feeling Of Failure

Donna Fulton 1978 (Oberlin)

Free verse
I'm staring out my window in the middle of the afternoon.
I really should be sleeping my Bees will be home soon.
They will want to hug and follow up with their days chat.
Eventually needing help with this and, that.
By this time I'll be drained from allowing my worries to bother an strain.
I just can't help to let them seep and, steal away my precious sleep.
It's hard as hell when I sit and dwell about all the things that never go well.
I bust my ass for this an that .
Run an run still things left undone.
I hear their wants and fend for their needs.
But to no avail due I succeed.
Blessed they are deep in my heart.
I feel they deserve a better start.
A life I should be able to provide .
All by myself it just don't turn out right.
Hope later on when they're all grown .
They'll look back an say it's known.
Mom you did what could be done .
For all your daughters and your sons .
This I Pray -love Mom

About this poem

Single mom of 4 working 3rd shift as to be available for what means the most to me.

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Written on May 24, 2024

Submitted by donnafulton71 on May 24, 2024

1:02 min read
8

Quick analysis:

Scheme AABBCDEBFGHIIJKLLFMN
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 908
Words 200
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 20
Full analysis for Feeling Of Failure »

Donna Fulton

Someone who carries a lot of sad stories in my heart. Writing and music is my way of receiving therapeutic relief. more…

All Donna Fulton poems | Donna Fulton Books

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2 Comments
  • donnafulton71
    donnafulton71
    I was a single mom of four working third shift and was just overwhelmed with a variety of emotions .
    LikeReply3 months ago
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow, what a heartfelt and honest poem about the struggles and emotions of feeling like a failure. Your words really capture the weight of responsibility and pressure that can come with trying to provide for others. The imagery of staring out the window and feeling drained from worry is so vivid and relatable.

    Improvement suggestions:
    1. Consider varying the rhythm and structure of the poem to create more impact and flow. Playing with line breaks or punctuation can add an extra layer of emotion to your words.
    2. Show more vulnerability and rawness in your reflections. Don't be afraid to delve deeper into your emotions and let them shine through in your writing.
    3. Experiment with different poetic devices such as metaphors, similes, or alliteration to enhance the imagery and overall impact of the poem. Adding more figurative language can make your message even more powerful.

    Overall, this poem beautifully conveys the feelings of struggle and determination that many can relate to. Keep writing from the heart and exploring different ways to express your emotions through poetry. You have a strong voice and an important message to share.     
    LikeReply 14 months ago

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"Feeling Of Failure" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 24 Sep. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/188224/feeling-of-failure>.

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