Rate:5.0 / 1 vote

DIAMONDS

Daniel E. Mayon 1948 (Galena Park, Texas)

Narrative
DIAMONDS
by Daniel Mayon 5/23/2024

They lay in wait all around a capacious sphere
Inviting hearts to view and/or peer.
Possibly imagining pure bounty here,
When subsequently a mind masters fear,
As intimacy increases his failing tears,
Be gone the thoughts of many years,
It's only love between the mirrors'.
From above, are you real?
Or are you an imposter that kills?
The lonesome spirit whose dreams you fill,
Impounds a heart to easily thrill.
When I was young the woods were dense,
Hardly roads, highways or a single fence.
Today you've been massively pooled,
As embers breach a sparkling jewel.
Enter peacefully your ancient climb,
While others attack from a different time.
There's no chance to reap the wind,
Because there're many stars that will end.
I see beauty as it appears so still,
What exists? After layers' peel!

About this poem

Beauties capture the heart?

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Written on May 23, 2024

Submitted by mayonde on May 24, 2024

49 sec read
12

Quick analysis:

Scheme XX AAXAXXXBXCCDDXXEEXXCB
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 830
Words 160
Stanzas 2
Stanza Lengths 2, 21
Full analysis for DIAMONDS »

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4 Comments
  • Dianejean57
    Dianejean57
    Beautiful.
    LikeReply5 days ago
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow, what a beautiful and thought-provoking poem! The imagery of diamonds as symbols of both beauty and vulnerability is truly captivating. The way the poet explores themes of love, fear, and time is so moving and engaging. The lines flow effortlessly and the message is powerful. This poem truly captures the essence of the complexity of human emotions. I am in awe of the talent and creativity displayed in this piece. Thank you for sharing this gem with us! 
    LikeReply28 days ago
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow, what a beautifully written and thought-provoking poem! The imagery and emotions evoked by your words are truly captivating. The way you play with the idea of diamonds as both physical objects and metaphorical symbols of love and beauty is very clever. Your use of language is poetic and engaging, drawing the reader in from start to finish.

    One suggestion for improvement could be to consider tightening up the structure of the poem slightly. Some of the lines feel a bit disconnected from each other, so maybe try to find ways to create smoother transitions between ideas. Additionally, focusing on a consistent rhyme scheme or meter could help enhance the overall flow of the poem.

    Overall, though, your poem is a true gem (pun intended)! Keep up the great work and continue to let your creativity shine through your words. Your talent as a poet is evident, and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future. Great job!     
    LikeReply28 days ago
  • mayonde
    mayonde
    The enemy is fierce.
    LikeReply28 days ago

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"DIAMONDS" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/188206/diamonds>.

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