Success



I raced up the mountain looking for you
So many others were running up too
To be the first and to be the best
From childhood we train for this test

I went past many in my haste
Some seemed tired some seemed dazed
But reaching that summit was my solitary aim
My unerring shot at wealth and fame

As slopes grew steeper less climbers I saw
Many a fallen comrade on the mountain floor
But if I fall back I must take the blame
I thought I knew the rules of this game

Finally I did conquer the mountain peak
There your welcoming presence I seek
But the top was barren where no flowers bloom
And you were nowhere, just the misty gloom

So where else could I venture from there?
Need for that descending trek was clear
But there was no race and there was no rush
Time to absorb the tranquil stillness and hush

On the way I stopped by the fallen weak
I help them rise and then up the peak
And then I see you…in many a grateful tear
The sun had risen and the mist was clear

So did I ascend a higher peak?
Is this the journey that one must seek?
The focus now is on the path and not on "I"
Success, you were sighted - that is why!

About this poem

The poem questions the traditional way how we look at Success - which is based on the result or the destination. The poem suggests that the intention, the satisfaction, and the path taken are more significant than the ultimate result when evaluating success. A mountain climbing analogy has been used.

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Written on April 23, 2024

Submitted by jn.selvadurai on April 22, 2024

Modified by jn.selvadurai on May 12, 2024

1:11 min read
245

Quick analysis:

Scheme AABB XXCC XXCC DDEE FGHH DDFG DDII
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 1,127
Words 237
Stanzas 7
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4

Niranjan Selvadurai

I am an Australian with Sri Lankan roots. Though I have had a life-long fascination for international poetry, I commenced writing poetry only about a decade ago. The sudden passing away of a dear childhood friend was the initial trigger. I find written expression involving rhyme, imagery, and symbolism a fulfilling experience. I write poetry both in English and in Sinhala. more…

All Niranjan Selvadurai poems | Niranjan Selvadurai Books

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Discuss the poem Success with the community...

3 Comments
  • Symmetry60
    Hence, what is the true meaning of success we must ponder? This is the story of each of us to our own relative degree via each corresponding experience each of us perceives. Is there truly a mountain peak or is true wisdom an everlasting venture toward some greater likening no human could possibly fathom? It appears the truest of wisdoms are gathered through the fires of journeying itself. There can be no peak for those forever venturing to unearth the truth of our purpose. Perhaps Helen Keller said it best when she said, "I know there is eternity for inside me are eternal longings." - The very thought brings me humbly to tears. Thank you for sharing this amazing piece, Niranjan. 
    LikeReply15 days ago
    • jn.selvadurai
      thank you Steven for your appreciation and the wonderful insights on the poem.
      LikeReply 115 days ago
  • RonaldBunch
    I wish I thought more like this. Thank you.
    LikeReply 116 days ago
    • jn.selvadurai
      Thank you Steven for your appreciation and the wonderful insights on this poem. Yes truest wisdoms are gathered through journeying process.
      LikeReply15 days ago
  • Abbykesington
    I love the personification of success. How helping others was the ultimate prize! Thanks for sharing
    LikeReply 116 days ago
    • jn.selvadurai
      thank you for your appreciation of the poem. We mostly seek success at the wrong place. The realisation and understanding comes later.
      LikeReply 116 days ago
    • Abbykesington
      The world trains us to seek success as achievements. Now, I understand the joy that comes with that, but greater joy is helping others achieve their purpose.
      LikeReply 116 days ago

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"Success" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 15 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/187221/success>.

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