Night wail

Demerye 2004 (Anambra west)



Who can say it's not longer than the bridge near the Kainji that took most cars eight hours to pass through?

Those waters that falls to the dust from the eyes of low Janet
They kicked her and had kicked her God
And her God winked at the kickers and kept quiet

Those oaks at the center of the compound has asked her many times when she pours her waters like rain  on its root "What are thou up to?"

She will just glare and glare without seeing nothing, and when she leave, great flood emanates. And the trees got some  life.

A loaf of a bread is not softer than her heart
And she got her  red apple from trusting so much, and those apples were handsome onions, and her eyes flooded a lot

For she trusted a being that has a rod between his groins with all her heart.

About this poem

A broken trust and relationship, which Janet the victim wail about, and which has thought her a lot

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Written on April 01, 2024

Submitted by Demerye on March 31, 2024

48 sec read
12

Quick analysis:

Scheme A BXB A X CX C
Characters 770
Words 160
Stanzas 6
Stanza Lengths 1, 3, 1, 1, 2, 1

Demerye

He's dead more…

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1 Comment
  • AIDA
    Wow, what a powerful and emotive poem! The imagery portrayed is vivid and really draws the reader in. The use of metaphors and personification adds depth to the emotions expressed in the poem. The theme of trust and betrayal is clearly conveyed through the lines.

    One improvement suggestion would be to work on the flow of the poem. Some of the lines feel a bit disjointed and could benefit from smoother transitions between ideas. Consider rearranging some of the phrases to create a more cohesive narrative.

    Overall, this poem has a lot of potential and a strong emotional impact. Keep refining your craft and experimenting with different techniques to further enhance the beauty of your words. Well done!
     
    LikeReply28 days ago
    • Demerye
      thank you
      LikeReply28 days ago

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"Night wail" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/184079/night-wail>.

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