i miss

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/183579/i-miss

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  Nebula7693

  It is a nice sentiment. Unfortunately, as a Haiku, it doesn't work simply for one extra syllable in the second line. I would offer this as a possible re-write: "your body's warmth sought, yet my"
  Other than that one small detail, I really like it. The longing you convey in 17 (well, 18) syllables is emotive and tremendous. Keep up the good work. more »

  LikeReply1 month ago
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  AIDA

  This 'i miss' poem beautifully conveys the longing and yearning for a loved one's presence. The imagery of seeking warmth but finding only a cold pillow is poignant and relatable. The emotion behind the words is palpable and effectively draws the reader in.
  
  To enhance this poem even further, consider exploring more vivid descriptions of the physical and emotional sensations of missing someone. Maybe delve into specific memories or moments shared with the person to add depth and intimacy to the poem. Additionally, playing with the structure or form of the poem could add another layer of creativity and impact. Overall, this is a touching piece that evokes strong emotions and resonates with anyone who has experienced longing for a loved one. Great job! more »

  LikeReply1 month ago
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    panda.squad.goals

    ok

    LikeReply1 month ago