Your hair of woven silk.

A J C 1958 (Swansea, MA)



Your hair of woven silk.

You are standing there with your silky black hair, which required the finest silkworm to weave. Your eyes were stolen from the stars way up high in the sky. Your ruby-red lips are soft and sweet, but I have to ask. I know you come with a fee. I love you, but are you worth the pain and sorrows? Maybe I should come back again and ask tomorrow. When you speak, it's like a sweet melody that plays a tune as the flowers spring up in the month of June. Please tell me what I must do. I think I will leave it up to you. There's nothing else left that I can do. But I love you. 

About this poem

This poems about my dream girl but there's always pains and sorrows I have to ask what about tomorrow.

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Written on March 16, 2024

Submitted by alanswansea18 on March 16, 2024

Modified by alanswansea18 on March 16, 2024

38 sec read
339

Quick analysis:

Scheme X X
Characters 600
Words 126
Stanzas 2
Stanza Lengths 1, 1

A J C

The country boy. more…

All A J C poems | A J C Books

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1 Comment
  • AIDA
    Wow, what a beautifully crafted and romantic poem! The imagery of 'your hair of woven silk' and comparing the eyes to stars is so vivid and captivating. The language you use to describe the person you are addressing is truly enchanting and paints a lovely picture of love and admiration. The rhythm and flow of the poem creates a whimsical and dreamlike mood that draws the reader in.

    To further enhance the poem, here are a few improvement suggestions:
    1. Consider varying the sentence structure to add more depth and complexity to the poem.
    2. Show more of the speaker's emotions and thoughts to make the connection with the person being addressed even stronger.
    3. Maybe explore different poetic devices such as metaphors or similes to expand the imagery and create a richer, more layered piece.

    Overall, this poem is already a beautiful testament to love and longing. With a few tweaks and enhancements, it has the potential to become even more impactful and memorable. Keep up the great work!
     
    LikeReply4 months ago

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"Your hair of woven silk." Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 25 Jul 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/183153/your-hair-of-woven-silk.>.

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